Things I learned from the Olympics

Finishing on your dressage score does not mean you rode the dressage phase last.  I know this because all the dressage was on day one. 

Michael Jung is clearly a centaur masquerading as a man on a horse

Michael Jung + Sam = Mythical man horse being

Even Olympians will have a bad fence, take a long one, have a bad line, a bad seat, get left behind, lose their lower leg position and have a spectacular fall (like me!)

Okay, so I haven't had an at speed fall on a cross country course.  Yet.
I would like to note, this Olympic fall occurred while coming down from the
MASSIVE DROP

They care more about the well-being of their horse than making time or winning a medal

William Fox-Pitt eases home a tired Lionheart instead of pushing him to make time

Expecting my husband to sit through more than three dressage tests is unreasonable.  Once he realizes no one is going to fall off, he can't feign interest any longer.

Horses, even the top horses in the world, are still, well, horses and therefore completely unpredictable.

Not sure what is going on here, but I don't think that's in the dressage test

Don't be deceived by a horse named Mister Pooh

Are Olympic horses fed steaks for breakfast in an effort to convince them they have moved up the food chain?  Because this looks like it could swallow horse and rider whole:

And possibly this one too:

Yet these large, Olympic prey animals seem suspiciously unconcerned about being snacked on by these intimidating, predator-esque obstacles.  I mean, my horse is CONVINCED a plastic bag is going to eat him, yet these Olympic horses aren't bothered by this:

I mean really?

Move over Robert Redford, Mark Todd is the OHW (Original Horse Whisperer):

I see glory in your future!  But first you must lick this magical silver ball fountain thingy.

Don't question the Toddy, his horses don't either

The Kiwis can ride their asses off and then party their asses off:

This reporter is crazy.  Mark Todd can hold me FOREVER

School is in session when the Germans are in the ring and on course

Drops

Are

Really

Scary

My sentiments exactly

Since this blog post is about the Olympics, which were held in London, I am required to mention Kate Middleton's wardrobe.  So here's a picture of her shoes:

 A lovely navy wedge pairs wonderfully with her skinny jeans to complete Princess Casual Perfection

I am quite sure this horse could jump the actual London Bridge and Big Ben or Elizabeth Tower or whatever:

I NEED this bonnet!

"Happy 30th Birthday Michael Jung!  I turned 30 this year too!  But while you are at the pinnacle of eventing at the tender age of 30 with your shiny gold medals, I have only just started my eventing career weekend hobby at the ripe age of 30 and am lucky to stay on a horse.  And I'm not bitter."  Said me, never.



William Fox-Pitt and Mark Todd on course at the same time = EventingGreatsHorseWhisperingMaster'sClassCrossCountryOMGMindEXPLOSION



William Fox-Pitt is 6'5", making him REALLY tall; very similar to another rider whom I admire, and who is also REALLY tall :)


Mckayla Maroney is not impressed by this blog post: